Illusion & Reality

THIS IS JUST A TEST. If this had been an actual emergency, you'd be instructed to turn to your local TV station....what was that? You mean this actually IS an emergency? Are you sure? What's the nature of....What is Washington doing about this? I'm assuming this is pertaining to some heavy weather alerts? Hello? Is anybody there? Damn, I see I'm still on the air. Don't panic anyone.  I'm certain that this emergent situation is nothing to fret about. There's no way in hell that we're under attack by North Korea. They've been trying to lob one over here for several years now. Feel free to call if you have any concerns

Neil was online watching this mess on CNN unfold. That clueless announcer needs to go off the air before he orchestrates a mass panic. He's inept at his job and it surprised Neil that he had managed to keep it for five years. 

Suddenly, the President of the United States, Colin Harbinger, came on, looking like someone who had peered into the eyes of the devil. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a situation here that must be dealt with. Mass hysteria will make things worse, so I urge everyone to remain calm.

Calm? Neil decided to stay on his laptop in case his television  broke down for one reason or another. Pet Shop Boys were in the middle of an exhausting tour and were currently in Toronto, Canada. 

Chris suddenly appeared, just out of the shower and soaking wet. "Neil, what's going on?" I only heard part of what Harbinger was saying. You know how terrified of WW3 I am, Neil. I have nightmares about this regularly."

"Chris. Please. We can't have you flying off the handle, because then you're useless."

"Do you think we'll have a nuclear war? Is that what this is about?"

Neil shook his head. I doubt very much if we're about to be nuked. It would be all over CNN if that were the case."

Suddenly, President Harbinger was shaking and trying hard to stay calm. "This will most likely be my last broadcast. North Korea has just declared war. It appears that Kim Jon-Il has been able to have a functioning delivery system and had been falsely giving the world the impression that the North Korean were still miles away from actually putting one together in order to fire nuclear weapons . We were wrong. We have no choice but to
retaliate."

Neil's face paled. "Chris, this State Of the Union address is the real thing! Nuclear war has officially doomed the world."

The two of them hugged tightly, as they'd lost the last morsel of hope that it was just a tsunami or volcano eruption (sick joke). Then both Chris and Neil were engulfed with a blinding light, much more potent than the sun and rivaled a supernova.  The two of them had a fraction of a second to grasp their hands. There was no more time to hug one another. 

It was over. The earth was now just a jagged piece of charcoal stuck in the sky.  It was the end of a troubled world that appeared to have effectively been blasted out of existence. We are all guilty. We had destroyed ourselves. It ways inevitable---the world was on the brink of the inevitable spectre of the "unthinkable".

****************************************************************************

Chris awakened, shaking uncontrollably and profusely sweating. "We're having WW3! Why am I still in one piece!!"

Neil was jolted into consciousness from the best sleep he'd had in ages.

"What's that supposed to mean? This nightmare was terrifying. Just horrible. WW3 had been begun and..."

Neil put the kettle on for tea and as he did so,  "It was just a bad dream. I certainly hope  so. Would you even want to survive? The despair would be overwhelming. Nothing left. The nuclear winter. Radiation would be a huge problem."

Chris decided to discontinue this frighting  discussion. "Let's change the subject. Morbid chit chat will just scare us half to death."

"Sounds good to me," Neil replied, pouring the tea into the only cups left in the flat. Both of them had broken so many with benign clumsiness. 

I'm wondering why it's snowing? I mean, it is June, isn't it?


Neil asks Chris,"Do you see that dilapidated house over there? Could it be haunted? That's what the locals are saying"
"I think you've been watching too much reality TV."

They've been there, done that & bought the shirts.
"I think we're being photographed. Sometimes it's really annoying, isn't it, Chris?

"It's not nearly as bad as being accosted by some jerks with their video cameras."

"The high price of fame." Neil smiled.



Just when you think that calmness has won
Another crisis comes crashing down on your head
And if you think the bad times are done
 You're better off hiding under your bed.

Am I the harbinger of dire speculation?
Or simply just yanking your chain?
Can you face all the crass humiliation?
And are you bracing yourself for the rain?

Just because one crisis has come to its knees
Don't get cocky and dripping with false hope
It's okay to be naive and hopeful, but please
We're most definitely on that slippery slope.

Neil Tennant was getting tired and pissy
Because Chris Lowe lives in a world of his own.
Reality can be a drag, but you come across as a sissy
So perhaps it's imperative that he leave Chris alone.


****************************************************************************


It was August and a particularly hot and humid one. Air conditioners were in high demand, swimming pools filled to capacity and everyone was quickly migrating to the beach. In other words, nobody knew how to handle the scorching weather, as they were unprepared for it.

Of course, there were the hardy ones, who were actually running and cycling. "Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun." This mantra proved glaringly fitting. 

Strangely, the temperature began to decline, slowly but surely as the day wore on. Chris was a bit nervous, but Neil responded, "Well, you have to admit, the heat was overwhelming. But working yourself into a tizzy will just make things worse."

That made some sense, for awhile at least. After all, it was 3 PM and the temperature naturally began to cool. However, there was a lot more to it than that. By 3:30,  the ocean's waves had whitecaps on them and was quickly freezing. People ran in droves to escape the intense cold and the strong possibility of being trapped in the frozen sea. Neil was horrified. "What in bloody hell is going on here? We've gone from 45 C to what feels like 15. In just thirty minutes."

Chris was shivering, so he wrapped his beach towel around him for warmth and it suddenly occurred to him that he was a lot calmer and more rational than Neil. This was just bizarre, but he couldn't contain himself and wore a big smug smile on his face. "Now look what's happened: We're in a bizarro world where up is down, left is right and the best of all, "Chris Lowe is Neil Tennant."

Neil did not see the humour and seethed silently. "Then he said, aren't you the clever one. Instead of standing here on icy cold sand being a jerk. Both of them looked in horror as a gigantic, partially thawed wave began quickly heading for Neil and Chris. "Oh my God!" cried Neil. We have to get the hell our of here. Chris was just as terrified as his friend and petty grievances were silenced.

The lifeguard was screaming as he did his best to get everyone out of the water. Unfortunately,  fifty swimmers surfers were consumed by sharp tendrils and immediately froze to death in seconds. The giant wave was looming fast and gaining its gigantic girth to envelope the beach.  Just before it swallowed Neil and Chris in an icy avalanche, Chris awakened and was extremely relieved that it was all just a terrible nightmare.


Then reality took a twisted turn. Both he and Neil were lying in a burned out foxhole and it quickly became apparently clear. There had been a nuclear war in order to warm up the earth, which had succumbed to a second ice age. Both of them looked at each other in horror. "I think I see what's going on," Neil, looking around at a dying world, "Chris, both you and I dreamt about a second ice age and WW3's sole purpose was to bring the planet back to life."

It was the end of the world.

............Or was it all an illusion?






Haikus

It's not hard to say.
Just loosen your lips
The rest is easy.

Humiliation
Sometime the cost is too high
Ratings rule the world.

Pieces of their souls
They just worked so hard on them
I'll gather them all.
See, Chris.  The world is still intact.
Neil and Chris are two celebrities who spend a lot of time with their fans, particularly giving autographs.
"I'm your puppet...........I love it."
I'm not really in a straitjacket.  Just looks like it. I'd be wearing the real deal soon enough  
I love this action shot! So I'm posting it here.





Haikus

It's not hard to say.
Just loosen your lips
The rest is easy.

Humiliation
Sometime the cost is too high
Ratings rule the world.

Pieces of their souls
They just worked so hard on them
I'll gather them all.







I'd like to take some time to anyone still masochistically reading this blog.  My cat is seething angry and royally pissed that some lame test was done to discover whether dogs or cats are smarter.  Canine's won.  As if!

Ask yourself this question: Dogs are often taught to play catch with a tennis ball. They're trained to do whatever their human asks them to do. Now, doesn't this becoming clear?

Cats, on the other hand, will give you a haughty glare if and when owners try to teach them to obey, they just think, "Yeah, right. Talk to me later---much later. Cats do what they want, they have their own private boxes to do their business in and most of all, they manage to turn things around by putting up posters: "Around here, cats are in charge." Indeed. After all, they were worshipped as gods in ancient Egypt and have never forgotten this.


This is Cleo. Unfortunately, we lost her to breast cancer. She was a stray and was spayed too late and had at least two litters of kittens.  We miss her, but now have an awesome feline named Fin. I still don't have a good picture of him, as he's somewhat camera shy.
****************************************************************************

Haikus

It's not hard to say.
Just loosen your lips
The rest is easy.

Humiliation
Sometime the cost is too high
Ratings rule the world.

Pieces of their souls
They just worked so hard on them
I'll gather them all.

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